Funny-li-ti-cal view :- Best man for the Job by Gideon Olugbile

Good day people, we are here live in the studio of C.B.B, where today we have with us the former Chief Tenant of Asole Block Villa, and Ex- C.E.O of the Republic, in the person of Raheem Mamafinda aka Gap Tooth alias E. Genius.

Presenter: You are welcome to our studio sir.

E. Genius: Thanks I am very great.

Presenter: Ok, let’s talk about your new found ambition to become C.E.O of the Republic again, after been in charge for 8 years and a 17 year absence from the political scene. Why do you want to come back?

E. Genius: I am the best man for the job.

Presenter: But with a 17 year absence from the scene, are you up to date with the information age of this century?

E. Genius: The republic has not changed since I left, so I know what the people want.

Presenter: What do the people want?

E. Genius: Well, when I was there we moved “things” in millions and in Ghana-must-go bags, now it’s being done in billions. I want to start moving it in trillions with bullet proof vans (gives a gap-toothed smile).

Presenter: Is that what makes you think you are the best man for the job?

E. Genius: Well, Mr. questionnaire, you see, am the best man for the job, because I get am for plenty, plenty experience, in fact my brain is wired like per seconds billing, unlike the youths of this republic that are on per hour billing thinking.

Presenter: But don’t you think if people like you give the youths a chance, they might perform.

E. Genius: The youths of this republic are “olodos” and are incapable of ruling this republic. Look, it’s very clear that our young, young people sef, ba brain, ba sense, ba experience unlike Obama who get am for plenty experience and............................

stay tuned for the concluding part of the article in the edition 2.

NIPPLE TWEAKER

Oh, you don’t know what a nipple tweaker is, ok i will tell you. Have you ever asked yourself when flipping thru magazines, watching scenes in movies or music videos (especially the foreign ones) why most of the women always have clearly erected nipples especially when shot with tight or transparent shirts, and on the other hand the women you see in the street are rarely that excited. Wonder no more, welcome to “da world of Nipple Tweaking.”
A Nipple tweaker is a person in the entertainment business whose job it is to make women's nipples erect for scenes, when a woman does not want ice touching her and she doesn't want to do it herself. The Nipple tweaker usually uses methods of stroking, sucking, licking, teasing, etc.
Hmm, makes me wonder why they don’t advertise this kind of jobs publicly. I believe, Nollywood could do with a Nipple Tweaker or Nipple Tweakers, you know, it would help reduce the unemployment rate in the country and ensure job specialisation. Personally, i know, am good in this kind of thingy, i’ll probably be the “Union Leader of Nollywood Nipple Twearkers.”
If you ask me, i will tell you, this is the best job in the world, YOU INTERESTED??? HOLLA.............!!! But wait, lets confuse Nollywood first on the need of creating such a Job.