F-FACTOR Unleashed.............!!!

F-FACTOR MAGAZINE 4TH EDITION......coming soon !!!!

WASH OUT...!!!! oops, i mean, WATCH OUT !!!

WHAT IF............!!!! by Olulu

WHAT WILL DON JAZZY BE? If D Banj is a KOKOLET and Wande Coal is an Orobo to Bad !!!!

I’m Hot…and You are too Gbasky for my liking by Maestro

Both of them are so slim that only their abdominal muscles (or abs for those ladies who go “ooh” when the Rock takes off his clothes) differentiate them from something chewed by a camel in a desert.
One is the king of brainless babes and the other is Lord of the Booze. The stage is set, and we introduce the contestants: D’Banj and Durella.
I love these guys. Vocally, they can be called Siamese twins, since it is only a few connoisseurs of music who can be adept enough to tell the difference in their singing voices. Apart from that, they are almost identical in body conformation, and here’s the biggest secret: their names both start with a capital “D”! Amazing, isn’t it? Seems like brothers from different spermatozoa, not to mention womb.
The “koko’ master comes on stage – wearing the ubiquitous criminal-looking sunglasses, of course – and begins to furiously swivel his hips to the beat. Suddenly, suddenly, he experiences waist pains and stops to remove his belt, all the while intoning: “Do you like the koko…How big is the koko?”
Meanwhile, some very reliable sources say that the Koko is about the approximate size of the eraser on the head of a pencil.
The shayo master, on the other hand, prances onto the stage and you can practically feel your brain take flight as the pounding beat of his song cripples your nervous system.
These two guys are among the best of Nigeria’s party starters, and if them no dey your party, “you know you’re missing”.
For some reason, it took some of us quite a while to see the difference between the Mo’ Hits Kid and the Wiskolo wiska genius. However, we now have new and technologically advanced means of separating the sheep from the goats.
Note: these guys are specialists at creating new words that have no credible meaning (and, hopefully, these words would never enter into any reputable dictionary in the nearest future. Amen).


.................read the continuation by buying the 3rd edition of F-Factor Magazine

F-Factor Magazine can be gotten from the following places

1. The Hub , The Palms shopping mall, Lekki- Lagos
2. Silver Bird life style store, Silver Bird Galleria, V/Island
3. Pharm Affairs, Ojota/ Ogudu road, Ogudu
4. All Finicky eatery centers.
5. White wood pharmacy, 22rd Festac Town, Lagos
6. Domino supermarket, Ozone cinema, E Center, Commercial Avenue, Yaba, Lagos.
7. De cafe, beside yem yem super market, Unilag shopping complex, Lagos
8. Janio Books, Fabricare Plaza,G close, 22 road, opposite texaco petrol station festac town, Lagos.
9. Adorn Pharmacy, between B close and C close, 22rd Festac Town, Lagos.
10. POD Book shop, 7 opebi road, Ikeja.
11. Mrs Onikoyi (LASU ADCADE), Sammy J (Faculty of Law), Faith Unique shop (FSB 37, faculty of science), LAB Ventures (FSB c-41, faculty of science), all in LASU Ojo, Lagos.




HOTLINES
Olumide – 08025070892
Ayo – 07068400846
Dapo – 01-8225481
Joke – 08023711586
Lillian - 07029561959

Law Makers, Money Choppers, Born Fighters by IBK

Guy, how far now?

I’m good o, you nko?

All correct, no long thing. Wetin u dey do wey u serious like this?

I’m trying to make a list of possible godfathers and things I need to become a politician.

Godfather? Politics? Thought you wanted to be a doctor, an accountant or some other respectable professional.

My guy, I now want to be a politician.

But why na? You just finish secondary school, you no wan go university go study?

Exactly, I don’t need a university degree to become a law maker or even the president of this nation. With this my secondary school certificate, I will rule over graduates. Don’t you know politicians especially those that make laws, do nothing and earn millions of Naira? So why slave away as a doctor or an accountant? When as a law maker I will earn basic salary of about N2.48 million, N1.24 million as hardship allowance, N4.97 million as furniture allowance, newspaper allowance of N1.24 million, and many other allowances like that. In short my guy, I will get like N300 million as salary per annum.

Hmm, that’s true o. ok, so wetin be the things you need to do?

Well, one, I need a god father, who has embezzled enough money to finance my campaign. Two, I need to learn how to box or better still, learn how to fight Kun-fu, tear clothes, race to carry the mace and drag people out of the chamber because of the fights that break out every now and then. Then, three, I need a whistle to blow whenever I want to disturb a session and a tear gas canister to spray into any eye that challenges me.

Hmm, seems you have done your home work. But politicians are generally regarded as been corrupt.

I don’t disagree. But you no know say corruption is an Art in this nation, the more corrupt you are, the more attractive you are to people who need you.

Guy, there is an anti graft agency to check and arrest corrupt people o.

Leave that thing, na today? Abeg leave story, everybody that is somebody in this nation has a file in the agency, but as long as you are in bed with the ruling government your file stays in the vault till when you fall out of favour with the ruling government.

You will be setting a bad example for your son o.

Nah, I will name my son “Goodluck” and ensure he is a running mate to a governor and afterwards when the governor goes to jail, he rules in his place. Then next he will be running mate to the president, and going by precedent, he will become the No. 1 man with no votes cast.

Seems you have it all thought out. But as your very own person, where I go feature for your plan?

That one no be problem, you will be in the background managing the many, many companies I will be using to move money into my pocket. Infact, you will even help me use N9 billion to buy jeeps and flat screen televisions for my babes once I become the No. 4 man in government.

What if people oppose you?

That’s easy too, I will be the judge and jury in any of the cases against me and get them suspended for the session.

Correct, you be the man jo, I’m with you all the way.

Good, let’s go thereeeeeeeee………………..!!!

IMPLICATION remix

As they kolonbi our Eagles
As they faasi Enyeama
As they disobey Largerback
We come dey get plenty wahala
As they dribble Kaita
As Yakubu commit the disaster
Just because Kanu dey there,
He follow enter the yawa..
Olele olele o ti dabaru olele...

Once Bitten, Twice Shy.......full version

Once bitten, twice shy..........u give my friend nodding, while the door was ajar....!!!!

The unnigerian Nigerian.......!!!!

WHAT IF............!!!! by Olulu

What If Rugged Man is MAGNETO, and Naeto C is NIGHTCRAWLER,.......who will be WOLVERINE???



Stay tuned for more on, what if....e.g. the members of Justice League, Fantastic Four and u will need to say what will be MO' HITS crew be? :) :)


F-Factor Magazine can be gotten from the following places

1. the Hub , The Palms shopping mall, Lekki- Lagos
2. Silver Bird life style store, Silver Bird Galleria, V/Island
3. Pharm Affairs, Ojota/ Ogudu road, Ogudu
4. All Finicky eatery centers.
5. White wood pharmacy, 22rd Festac Town, Lagos
6. Domino supermarket, Ozone cinema, E Center, commercial avenue, Yaba, Lagos.
7. De cafe, beside yem yem super market, Unilag shopping complex, Lagos
8. Henry 08029630171 in Yabatech, and Muyiwa 08034607303 in Unilag.
9. Janio Books, Fabricare Plaza,G close, 22 road, opposite texaco petrol station festac town, Lagos
10. Adorn Pharmacy, between B close and C close, 22rd Festac Town, Lagos.
11. POD Book shop, 7 opebi road, Ikeja.
12. Mrs Onikoyi (LASU ADCADE), Sammy J (Faculty of Law), Faith Unique shop (FSB 37, faculty of science), LAB Ventures (FSB c-41, faculty of science).

WITTY Y A R N S

NAIJA GOT SWAGGER

My name na Olulu
And I no be zulu
Am a true omo naija
That does not smoke ganja.
I no dey try play people for maga,
Yet I still got lot of swagger.
What’s there to be proud of in this nation?
After all we seem to be sinking into a state of depression
Things keep getting complicated,
And important people are the ones being implicated,
Maybe we should all do Andrew and check out,
Or beg Osama bin laden to knock us all out.
Well, We might not be making proper use of the oil money,
Since so very few are the ones enjoying the honey.
But then we have learnt to use our brains,
And things are not all going down the drain,
We’re now getting known for music and comedy,
This serves as our remedy.
Everyday new talents keeping popping up,
And our rep goes a notch up.
We don dey ginger our swagger,
And soon we go become the master.
Even though I no fit use naija do wife,
But I be naija4life.