Saturday, August 21, 2010
I’m Hot…and You are too Gbasky for my liking by Maestro
Both of them are so slim that only their abdominal muscles (or abs for those ladies who go “ooh” when the Rock takes off his clothes) differentiate them from something chewed by a camel in a desert.
One is the king of brainless babes and the other is Lord of the Booze. The stage is set, and we introduce the contestants: D’Banj and Durella.
I love these guys. Vocally, they can be called Siamese twins, since it is only a few connoisseurs of music who can be adept enough to tell the difference in their singing voices. Apart from that, they are almost identical in body conformation, and here’s the biggest secret: their names both start with a capital “D”! Amazing, isn’t it? Seems like brothers from different spermatozoa, not to mention womb.
The “koko’ master comes on stage – wearing the ubiquitous criminal-looking sunglasses, of course – and begins to furiously swivel his hips to the beat. Suddenly, suddenly, he experiences waist pains and stops to remove his belt, all the while intoning: “Do you like the koko…How big is the koko?”
Meanwhile, some very reliable sources say that the Koko is about the approximate size of the eraser on the head of a pencil.
The shayo master, on the other hand, prances onto the stage and you can practically feel your brain take flight as the pounding beat of his song cripples your nervous system.
These two guys are among the best of Nigeria’s party starters, and if them no dey your party, “you know you’re missing”.
For some reason, it took some of us quite a while to see the difference between the Mo’ Hits Kid and the Wiskolo wiska genius. However, we now have new and technologically advanced means of separating the sheep from the goats.
Note: these guys are specialists at creating new words that have no credible meaning (and, hopefully, these words would never enter into any reputable dictionary in the nearest future. Amen).
.................read the continuation by buying the 3rd edition of F-Factor Magazine
F-Factor Magazine can be gotten from the following places
1. The Hub , The Palms shopping mall, Lekki- Lagos
2. Silver Bird life style store, Silver Bird Galleria, V/Island
3. Pharm Affairs, Ojota/ Ogudu road, Ogudu
4. All Finicky eatery centers.
5. White wood pharmacy, 22rd Festac Town, Lagos
6. Domino supermarket, Ozone cinema, E Center, Commercial Avenue, Yaba, Lagos.
7. De cafe, beside yem yem super market, Unilag shopping complex, Lagos
8. Janio Books, Fabricare Plaza,G close, 22 road, opposite texaco petrol station festac town, Lagos.
9. Adorn Pharmacy, between B close and C close, 22rd Festac Town, Lagos.
10. POD Book shop, 7 opebi road, Ikeja.
11. Mrs Onikoyi (LASU ADCADE), Sammy J (Faculty of Law), Faith Unique shop (FSB 37, faculty of science), LAB Ventures (FSB c-41, faculty of science), all in LASU Ojo, Lagos.
HOTLINES
Olumide – 08025070892
Ayo – 07068400846
Dapo – 01-8225481
Joke – 08023711586
Lillian - 07029561959
Labels:
D Banj,
Durella,
f-factor,
f-factor magazine,
gbasky,
hot,
koko,
maestro,
naija,
no long thing,
olulu,
satire,
wiskolo wiska
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