It all started on a bright Thursday afternoon, where we got to discover that even in a very busy organization, Gold is to Goldsmiths, as words are to
WORD-SMITHS
From: Debisi-jamez@company.com
Sent: Thursday May 27, 2010
To: undisclosed recipients
Subject: the Company anthem
Hey guys, I came up with an anthem for the company:
we are up with finacle
with our finacle we experience miracle
with finacle there is no obstacle
we be the best among the rest cos we 've got the muscle
no hassle
even in the face of sliding tackle
we are a force with great tentacle
we move with great speed cos we got no shackles on our ankles
we spread around the globe like a sprinkle
even at that we still stick together like a Bundle
oh lah lah lah lahhhh ole kokokokokoko
From: doyin@company.com
Sent: Thursday May 27, 2010
To: undisclosed recipients
Subject: RE: Company anthem
Have u forwarded to corporate affairs? It could be adopted by the company you know.
From: Ronke@company.com
Sent: Thursday May 27, 2010
To: undisclosed recipients
Cc: olulu@f-factormagazine.com
Subject: RE: Company anthem
SOUNDS CATCHY….
From: Peter @company.com
Sent: Thursday May 27, 2010
To: undisclosed recipients
Subject: RE: Company anthem
Are you Dagrin now or is it MI? Not a bad idea to send it to Corporate affairs
From: Ronke@company.com
Sent: Thursday May 27, 2010
To: Olulu@f-factormagazine.com
Subject: FW: Company anthem
I DO HOPE Debisi-jamez WRITES FOR U COS HE’S GOT RHYMING TALENT
From: Olulu@f-factormagazine.com
Sent: Thursday May 27, 2010
To: Ronke@company.com
Subject: RE: FW: Company anthem
Not asked him officially yet, but rhyming is not hard compared to writing satirically. If he can do satire articles, I would love him for life (ok, maybe love him once per article). But I doubt, he wants to go into music and he’s got dancing skills too, but I will ask him now sha.
From: Olulu@f-factormagazine.com
Sent: Tuesday, May 04, 2010 2:11 PM
To: undisclosed recipients
Cc: Debisi-jamez@company.com
Subject: RE: Company anthem
@debisi
F – Factor needs your rhyming skills, kindly send your sample of satire mode of writing, let’s see if u are not a one off rhymer…….!!!! I have attached pages of the 1st edition for you, check and holla back.
From: Debisi-jamez@company.com
Sent: Thursday May 27, 2010
To: undisclosed recipients
Cc:olulu@f-factormagazine.com
Subject: RE: Company anthem
@olulu
I DON’T NEED TO BLOW
FOR U TO KNW SAY I DEY GROW
ON A NORMAL DAY EVEN IN A ROW
I STILL DEY FLOW
FLYING AWAY TO SAFETY LIKE A CROW
AS THINGS GET CHILLY AS IF IN A SNOW
AIMING TO SLOW MY SPIRIT NOW KEEPING IT LOW
OL’BOY I STILL DEY GLOW
OMO THIS TIME NOT LIKE Glo(pride)
But with HUMILITY TY TY TY TY TY TY OOOOOOOOOOOOYAH
Checking out ur F-FACTOR
The colour day make me wanna be an INTERACTOR
Cos the pages dey shine like the rim of a NAVIGATOR
But I no go allow the VECTOR enter my REACTOR
Picking up offer like a waste COLLECTOR
Until I contact my INVESTIGATOR
Sign out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
From: Ronke@company.com
Sent: Thursday May 27, 2010
To: undisclosed recipients
Cc:olulu@f-factormagazine.com
Subject: RE: Company anthem
Em… olu… doesn’t look like one wash fits all o…. e sabi rhyme
From: Blue Blood@f-factormagazine.com
Sent: Thursday May 27, 2010
To: undisclosed recipients
Cc:olulu@f-factormagazine.com, Debisi-jamez@company.com
Subject: RE: Company anthem
@ debisi, on F Factor
Ur rhymes fit our page
U just dey flow like one old sage
Make talent for no waste, we go pay u minimum wage
We need ur skills, no be by age
F.Factor go be ur best stage
R u game, don’t stay in a cage!
@ Olulu,
He dust u, pls don’t get into a rage!!!
From: Ronke@company.com
Sent: Thursday May 27, 2010
To: undisclosed recipients
Subject: RE: Company anthem
Lol…Seems like u all got rhymes….. who else wanna share?
From: Olulu@f-factormagazine.com
Sent: Thursday May 27, 2010
To: undisclosed recipients
Cc: debisi-jamez@company.com, ronke@company.com,Blue Blood@f-factormagazine.com
Subject: RE: Company anthem
@ronke and debisi,
Anybody can write,
Not everyone can write right,
Or write tight,
Or write for u to see d light.
It’s not about taking up a pen and writing,
U need to make sure d words got meaning.
Like a samurai to his sword,
So is a writer to words,
If given a chance?
Can he kiss words and make them dance?
It’s not about crowing,
Or blowing.
D words must b able to tease senses.
But still have d right tenses.
I still believe he is a one minute rhymer,
Won’t last as a word-smith all time slayer.
@Blue Blood,
Dust me?
He can’t even reach me.
Na by dat pattern?
Guy, he go just flatten.
From: Blue Blood@f-factormagazine.com
Sent: Thursday May 27, 2010
To: undisclosed recipients
Subject: RE: Company anthem
@ debisi
Prove say u no copy and paste
Give Olulu something more to taste
But sha, don’t be in a haste
Take ur time to determine ur fate!
@ Olulu
U sure are loaded up ur sleeves
Save some for F-Factor mag. Please!
STAY TUNED FOR THE 3RD EDITION OF F-FACTOR MAGAZINE FOR THE CONCLUDING PART of WORD SMITHS...........!!!!!!
F-Factor Magazine can be gotten from the following places
1. The Hub , The Palms shopping mall, Lekki- Lagos
2. Silver Bird life style store, Silver Bird Galleria, V/Island
3. Pharm Affairs, Ojota/ Ogudu road, Ogudu
4. All Finicky eatery centers.
5. White wood pharmacy, 22rd Festac Town, Lagos
6. Domino supermarket, Ozone cinema, E Center, Commercial Avenue, Yaba, Lagos.
7. De cafe, beside yem yem super market, Unilag shopping complex, Lagos
8. Janio Books, Fabricare Plaza,G close, 22 road, opposite texaco petrol station festac town, Lagos.
9. Adorn Pharmacy, between B close and C close, 22rd Festac Town, Lagos.
10. POD Book shop, 7 opebi road, Ikeja.
11. Mrs Onikoyi (LASU ADCADE), Sammy J (Faculty of Law), Faith Unique shop (FSB 37, faculty of science), LAB Ventures (FSB c-41, faculty of science), all in LASU Ojo, Lagos.
Showing posts with label company. Show all posts
Showing posts with label company. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Funny-li-ti-cal view: Absentia Leadership Training
Absentia Leadership Training
By Gideon Olugbile
Diplomat: Hello, Good Day
Aide: Good day sir, how may I help you?
Diplomat: Is that Rock of Absolute Rights Ltd
Aide: Yes it is, Sir
Diplomat: Please, I’ll like to speak to your C.E.O- Yusuf Manadora?
Aide: What will you like to know Sir?
Diplomat: I’m afraid it is rather confidential and can only be for his ears only
Aide: Ok, Let me transfer you to his yarinya.
Diplomat: Excuse me, his yarinya? What’s wrong with speaking directly to the C.E.O
Aide: Well he is away on a course
Diplomat: On a course? Well pass the line down to the Course centre.
Aide: He is on a course titled “Absentia Leadership:- a mandatory requirement for effective governance,” thus he cannot be disturbed.
Diplomat: Hmm! Ok, What about his deputy, Mr Favoured David?
Aide: Oh him! Well, he is just a figure head and lacks any form of authority, even the board of directors don’t obey him
Diplomat: Ok, is there a board member I can talk to, like the P.R.O, that is the person in charge of information or maybe the company secretary on legal matters or non-local affairs Director.
Aide: Well, i’m afraid they can’t speak the mind of the C.E.O. The company secretary and all acknowledge that a vacant seat is not a vacant leadership, thus the only person that speaks the C.E.O’s mind is his yarinya because she is the only one that has seen him of recent.
Diplomat: Ok, let me speak to her
Aide: Hold on please, while I connect the line to her
Diplomat: Hello ma,
Yarinya: Good day Sir, How may I help you?
Diplomat: Please I have a highly confidential matter to discuss with the C.E.O
Yarinya: Ok, You are on to the right person; you may speak on, cos I speak his mind
Diplomat: But you are not a member of the board, nor were you elected or appointed in any official capacity
Yarinya: Well I am the “first babe” and as a matter of fact, the only person who can speak the mind of the C.E.O while he is on “Absentia Leadership Training.”
Diplomat: How long will the course last?
Yarinya: Well, they are through with “case study 1,” Absentia leadership for 70 days, they are currently on “case study 2,” 100 days, after which they will move to “case study 3,” 365 days.
Diplomat: Ok, if I do discuss with you, how long with it take to get a response?
Yarinya: Well, you know no phone calls are allowed during the course, thus I would go there in person and wait for the course lecturers to allow him come out from the gas chamber, gain consciousness, before I can now discuss with him. Then I will come back up. So lets say 2 weeks.
Diplomat: Haa, 2 weeks, you sure the said course is ok for him?
Yarinya: Yes, it is, though the “rigour-rity” of the course requires the participants to be in a gas chamber or wear a gas mask and be unconscious before the course facilitators do their work.
Diplomat: But why can’t the deputy, Favoured David, stand in for the C.E.O?
Yarinya: Stand in for the C.E.O.? Lai, lai, over my dead body! The C.E.O can rule from anywhere, you can ask the company secretary, Andy Oka, he would confirm that for you.
Diplomat: But how does the C.E.O communicate with his staff to ensure they know he is alright.
Yarinya: Haba, that’s easy, he calls C.B.B and then C.B.B calls the staff and even customers of the company to relay what the C.E.O has said.
Diplomat: When exactly is the C.E.O due back from his course?
Yarinya: That i cannot say o, if he passes “Case Study 2,” 100 days, then he would try his life with “Case Study 3,” 365 days.
Diplomat: Ok then, let me consult with my superiors to know if they like to proceed dealings with your company and an absentia C.E.O.
Yarinya: Please tell them that they can o, “cos an absent seat does not mean an absent leader o.”
Diplomat: Ok ma, thank you for your time.
Yarinya: Anytime, my dear, i’m only doing my duty as the “first babe” of the company.
By Gideon Olugbile
Diplomat: Hello, Good Day
Aide: Good day sir, how may I help you?
Diplomat: Is that Rock of Absolute Rights Ltd
Aide: Yes it is, Sir
Diplomat: Please, I’ll like to speak to your C.E.O- Yusuf Manadora?
Aide: What will you like to know Sir?
Diplomat: I’m afraid it is rather confidential and can only be for his ears only
Aide: Ok, Let me transfer you to his yarinya.
Diplomat: Excuse me, his yarinya? What’s wrong with speaking directly to the C.E.O
Aide: Well he is away on a course
Diplomat: On a course? Well pass the line down to the Course centre.
Aide: He is on a course titled “Absentia Leadership:- a mandatory requirement for effective governance,” thus he cannot be disturbed.
Diplomat: Hmm! Ok, What about his deputy, Mr Favoured David?
Aide: Oh him! Well, he is just a figure head and lacks any form of authority, even the board of directors don’t obey him
Diplomat: Ok, is there a board member I can talk to, like the P.R.O, that is the person in charge of information or maybe the company secretary on legal matters or non-local affairs Director.
Aide: Well, i’m afraid they can’t speak the mind of the C.E.O. The company secretary and all acknowledge that a vacant seat is not a vacant leadership, thus the only person that speaks the C.E.O’s mind is his yarinya because she is the only one that has seen him of recent.
Diplomat: Ok, let me speak to her
Aide: Hold on please, while I connect the line to her
Diplomat: Hello ma,
Yarinya: Good day Sir, How may I help you?
Diplomat: Please I have a highly confidential matter to discuss with the C.E.O
Yarinya: Ok, You are on to the right person; you may speak on, cos I speak his mind
Diplomat: But you are not a member of the board, nor were you elected or appointed in any official capacity
Yarinya: Well I am the “first babe” and as a matter of fact, the only person who can speak the mind of the C.E.O while he is on “Absentia Leadership Training.”
Diplomat: How long will the course last?
Yarinya: Well, they are through with “case study 1,” Absentia leadership for 70 days, they are currently on “case study 2,” 100 days, after which they will move to “case study 3,” 365 days.
Diplomat: Ok, if I do discuss with you, how long with it take to get a response?
Yarinya: Well, you know no phone calls are allowed during the course, thus I would go there in person and wait for the course lecturers to allow him come out from the gas chamber, gain consciousness, before I can now discuss with him. Then I will come back up. So lets say 2 weeks.
Diplomat: Haa, 2 weeks, you sure the said course is ok for him?
Yarinya: Yes, it is, though the “rigour-rity” of the course requires the participants to be in a gas chamber or wear a gas mask and be unconscious before the course facilitators do their work.
Diplomat: But why can’t the deputy, Favoured David, stand in for the C.E.O?
Yarinya: Stand in for the C.E.O.? Lai, lai, over my dead body! The C.E.O can rule from anywhere, you can ask the company secretary, Andy Oka, he would confirm that for you.
Diplomat: But how does the C.E.O communicate with his staff to ensure they know he is alright.
Yarinya: Haba, that’s easy, he calls C.B.B and then C.B.B calls the staff and even customers of the company to relay what the C.E.O has said.
Diplomat: When exactly is the C.E.O due back from his course?
Yarinya: That i cannot say o, if he passes “Case Study 2,” 100 days, then he would try his life with “Case Study 3,” 365 days.
Diplomat: Ok then, let me consult with my superiors to know if they like to proceed dealings with your company and an absentia C.E.O.
Yarinya: Please tell them that they can o, “cos an absent seat does not mean an absent leader o.”
Diplomat: Ok ma, thank you for your time.
Yarinya: Anytime, my dear, i’m only doing my duty as the “first babe” of the company.
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